I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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