Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
