I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
