People in love make me want to vomit
is wine microwaveable?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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