i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
