Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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