TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
