It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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