Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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