i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize