My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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