hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
