my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
This house was built for laser tag.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
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