marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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