i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
