just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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