woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
