Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
