Its about making memories worth repressing
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
