My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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