I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
