You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
