dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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