You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
