I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
