Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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