I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
