hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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