Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
