i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
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