totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Randomize
