well most of my day revolves around power hour
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
