Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
We're not piercing ourselves today.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
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