Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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