oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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