You can't motorboat a personality
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
