please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
