I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
