Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
