no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
high people should be assigned attendants
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Randomize
