And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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