my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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