I have demons in me.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
