white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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