do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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