so let's talk penis.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
