Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
