Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I want to make a zoo with you.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
