i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Blow job season was short but glorious.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
