you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
