i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
You are the jesus of drinking
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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