If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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