we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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