it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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