I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
