Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
