You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
