only if we run a train.
done.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
