wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
