I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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