I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
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