Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I think I died a long time ago.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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