I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
