Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
