Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I think i got beer on your cat.
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