your thong is hanging out like whoa
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
