Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
porn star boner night. come get it.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
