I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
