I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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