Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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