There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Randomize