I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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