Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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